Leave your baggage at home when looking for a date!

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Friday, October 26th, 2007 Subscribe To Our Feed

With legion of single men and women out there, I am always amazed at how some of us behave when it comes to selecting and then meeting a partner for the first time. It doesn’t matter whether you found your possible match online, or through work, friends or whatever, it never fails.

I am of course ranting about the pre-conceived ideas that we, singles seemingly always bring to the Dating table. And there again it is true for divorced people, those single souls that were once in a relationship and having to do it all over again, and true also for the never married, the eternal spinsters, men or women even though I am aware that by definition, the word spinster applies to a woman who has never married!

Did you know that according to the US Census Bureau, as of 2005, an average of 35 % of men and women have never been married? If true, these are staggering statistics even when considering that the above survey was quoted for men and women 15 year and over! By the way, the legal in the United States for any couple to get married is 18, younger if the couple has their parent’s consent!

So by my very un-scientific reckoning, add the number of people who never got married in their lives to the those who did but find themselves single again and we are now faced a huge number of single men and women out there, looking for a life partner!

Incredible isn’t it! Here we are, a nation riding high on the wave of communication finding ourselves going home to an empty nest at night, not necessarily lonely but definitely singles and wishing otherwise.

And what do we do to find a partner? Do we look at how we have behaved thus far with regards to finding a companion and see what we have done wrong? Do we learn by our mistakes and tell ourselves: “right, I think I know why it didn’t work last time and I am not going to make the same mistake again, if I can help it”?

No likely. I have been a single middle age Dating man for some months now. I have a profile posted in a number of online Dating sites and the truth is I have more than my pick in terms of dates which I meet, and get to know. Online Dating is wonderful in that it levels the fields so to speak and brings together more people then you would otherwise be likely to ever meet in your day to day life.

When searching through profiles after profiles, I am often amazed at the apparent perfection these single men and women have achieved in their lives. Men and women want it all. The looks, the attraction, the immediate and sudden physical pull, the successful career, the house in the city and a vacation home elsewhere, the need for independence coinciding with a search for an equal provider, the whole package.

They take one look at your profile and make a decision there and there based on a couple of photos and statements on a web site page, which may, or may not reflect exactly what the person really is.

And based on that initial assessment, they decide on their course of action. It doesn’t matter that they might actually get to really like the person they are rejecting if they got to know him/her better, they just go with their initial intuition which is crazy really since often times they have been married in the first place.

Dating, and online Dating is difficult. It’s not an easy task to find a partner, a soul mate, a companion to spend a life time with, or at least some of it. For the sake for sanity, let us not make it any more difficult then it already is.

T’is tough to Date nowaydays.

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